


dont sit in my lap again (shit, oh god)

by loonyBibliophile



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Jade moves to the mainland and has no idea how people work, Post-Game, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 05:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonyBibliophile/pseuds/loonyBibliophile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A combination of now being part dog and spending her whole life in isolation, Jade is a bit fuzzy on the whole 'appropriate behavior around other people' thing. When she moves in with Dave to get a feel for the mainland, this becomes a problem. A very hard problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dont sit in my lap again (shit, oh god)

Jade has been staying with Dave since the four of them were deposited back on earth. She didn't want to go back to living alone on her island, but she didn't want to start off living alone in a country she knew very little about or in a way that was unfamiliar. So Dave had offered to let her stay with him until she got used to life on the mainland and could manage on her own. It had been the obvious solution. But it was proving incredibly problematic. Since she had lived nearly her whole life alone on a tropical island, Jade had little to no idea what was acceptable to do in front of other people. The fact that she was now half dog and therefore incredibly cuddly did not help matters at all in this respect. Having a crush on his best friend was hard enough when he hadn't lived with her. But now he was having to deal with the constant problem of her lack of understanding of human decency. 

Since she'd started staying there, a number of things had gone awry. She'd woken up one morning and plopped down at the breakfast table in a pair of shorts and completely topless, casually pouring herself a cup of coffee while Dave managed to stammer out that women weren't really supposed to walk around with their chests uncovered. Jade responded by nodding wisely, covering her breasts with her hand and then reaching for the sugar. Dave sighed loudly, pulled off his shirt and handed it to her. She shrugged, put it on, and went about her day. Dave breathed a mental sigh of relief, but her flouncing around bra-less in his shirt didn't do much for the tightness in his pants. There was also the time he came home from the diner down the street and called out to her when she wasn't in the living room. Following her voice, he found her sitting in the bathtub, stark naked, with the door wide open, shaving her legs, the only thing hiding her breasts being her long wet hair and a few convenient soap bubbles. He almost dropped their take out. Turning around and covering his eyes, he calmly explained bath time was generally seen as private time and that she should close and lock the door next time, or at least close it and tell him what she was doing if he asked for her. Whenever she got too warm she would pull of her shirt and sprawl out in just her bra, and no matter what he couldn't dissuade her from that particular behavior, because she didn't see how it was any different from a bathing suit top. Dave had to stop wearing anything but jeans around the house, because any softer fabrics would have revealed the fact that her unintentional antics were almost constantly making him hard. 

He'd heard, thankfully not seen, her masturbating one night, as he fumbled through the dark of the living room into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She was sleeping on the couch, but the soft rustling of the sheets and the little grunts and moans she made, soft and under her breath, made it obvious what she was doing even though it was too dark for him to see her. His cock strained in his boxers, threatening to fall through the fly, so he hurriedly downed his water and made his way back to his room, then shamelessly jerked his cock to the soft sounds of her playing with herself he could he through the door, biting his lip to keep from groaning her name when he came. It didn't help that he could recreate her body almost perfectly from memory, from all the previous incidents of her wandering around less than clothed. 

Even more of a problem than her general lack of interest in clothing, was her habit of wanting to sit as close to him as humanly possible. If he was sitting on the couch, she was either trying to sit in his lap, or pulling his arm around her, or sitting on the floor between his legs. She was constantly hugging on him when they were standing around, tight enough to press her breasts into him. Sometimes when she was tired she'd flop down next to him on the sofa and put her head in is lap and pout until he scratched her ears and he thought intently about every gross thing he could think of to keep from getting a boner while her head was in his crotch and she made cute little snuffling noises about his hand in her hair. Then there was the fact that she was constantly shoving her face into his neck or chest or side to smell him because she said he smelled soothing. And sometimes she licked his face when she'd missed him after he was gone a few hours, something her felt he should have been grossed out by, but instead it just made the zipper on his jeans feel way too tight. But one night things just got a little too intense. 

"Come onnnnn, it's your turn to pick a game. I picked the last like, three times!" Jade had herself curled comfortably in the taller boy's lap, a GameCube controller firmly grasped in her hands. 

"Are you sure it wouldn't be easier for you to play on the floor, or the sofa?" he asked, trying his best to hide the edge in his voice. 

"But you're comfy!" she pouted at him and shoved her face into his neck, rubbing her nose into it, her ears tickling his chin. He sighed. Damn her for being so cute. 

"Fine fine. Uuuuh, MarioKart, loser buys Chinese takeout next time we go." 

"You're on!" She jumped up to switch the game discs, giving Dave a precious moment to adjust his underwear and a tantalizing view of her ass, because she had refused to put on real pants that morning and was flouncing around in a pair of cotton shorts rolled over at the waistband that rode halfway up her ass when she bent over. She was wearing white underwear with lace trim and green polkadots. Dave swallowed hard and made sure his quickly forming erection was safely tucked away. A few moments later, Jade flopped indelicately back into his lap, and Dave studiously ignored the fact that she was wearing a tank top she'd stolen from his closet and when she moved he could see literally everything because she hardly ever wore a bra. He selected a track for them, trying not to brush the sides of her breasts with his arms as he manipulated the controller. The situation was becoming more and more difficult as time went on though, because Jade was one of those people who moved along with the cars in racing games. So every time she swerved her car to the left, she moved to the left. And so on. So the entire time they were racing, her breasts moved back and forth, and her hips swayed into his, and every once in awhile of she jumped or cheered, her entire body would shift and jiggle, accidentally rubbing against him. His dicks was so hard by the end of the third race that it hurt and he was afraid she was going to lean back too far and feel it pressed against her back and freak out. 

He tried thinking about cold showers and old women and puppets but his mind was no match for the way her hips moved or the way sometimes he'd, genuinely on accident, brush a hand or forearm across one of her breasts. But he managed to finish the race, though he lost, but that wasn't anything new, Jade had always kicked his ass at MarioKart. When she stood up and walked to the kitchen, he was relieved, but it was short lived. Just a few seconds later, after acquiring a can of soda, she flopped back down on his lap, and the way she landed, somehow, pressed her outer lips firmly against the outline of his cock. Dave groaned audibly, he couldn't help it, and a soft oh escaped Jade's lips. She made to move away, suddenly aware as to why it wasn't normal to sit in friend's laps, but Dave's hands held her thighs down. It was only a half conscious action, his preventing her from moving, as he pushed his hips up, grinding his cock against her. She made a squeaking noise and he cursed under his breath, realizing what he'd done. But Jade didn't get up. She mumbled something he couldn't understand. 

"Huh?" he managed to ask, trying very hard not to reach up towards her breasts and finally find out what her nipples felt like between his fingers. 

"Wh-whatever you just did. I uh, w-wouldn't mind if you did it again." she flushed bright red and the words came out soft and stammering, but he heard them and groaned again. Unthinking, his hands pushed up under the tank top, grasping onto her breasts from behind. She fell back against him, spreading her legs as he held her down by pushing on her torso, bucking his hips up against her, his aching cock desperate for the friction of her pressed against him. She whimpered and rocked against him, hr skin growing hot to the touch. 

"Fucking hell, Jade." Dave groaned against her shoulder as he ground into her again. She didn't say anything, just whimpered louder and let her head fall back against his shoulder. She felt hot and wet even through her shorts. "God, do you have any idea how crazy you've been making me??? Running around topless or bottomless or having me walk in on you in the bathtub and masturbating on my couch making those hot as fucking hell breathy noises and sitting in my lap rubbing your ass against me. You don't even fucking know you're doing. I've been hard almost 24/7 since you moved in here."

"I'm s-sorry." she managed to breathe out as she reached for one of Dave's had, forcing it to knead harder over her breasts "I r-really didn't mean t-to do anything."

"I know. That was what made it worse. You're so cute and fuckin' oblivious to how sexual that shit was and it just made it that much hotter. You're pouring a cup of coffee and I'm thinking about how cute our ass is and wanting to bend you over my kitchen counter." Jade didn't say anything, just whimpered again and pulled at the hem of Dave's tshirt, while pulling the tank top over own head. 

A moment later somehow they both found themselves on their feet, pulling off their respective bottoms before Dave grabbed Jade by the shoulders and kissed her, gruffly but sweetly, her leaning up on her toes to meet his lips. It was all desperation and years of pent up emotions and pent up wanting but mostly it was hard teeth and soft tongues as Dave lead Jade to the arm of the sofa. 

"I'm gonna fuck you silly over the arm of this couch now, unless you have any qualms with that." he mumbled, tangling his fingers in her long hair and kissing her neck. She shook her head. 

"N-no. F-feel free." her voice was strained, because seconds before Dave's fingers had found their way inside her and they were much bigger and felt much better than her own delicate digits. Dave nodded and released her, turning her around carefully. She leaned her stomach over the arm of the couch, guiding Dave's hand back to her breasts, which hung heavy and hot in his hands, he groaned loudly and took one hand away, much to both of their dismay, and used it to hold his cock against the entrance to her pussy. He didn't want to hurt her, so he just barely put in the head, relishing both how warm and wet she was and the sound of her breath hitching as she gently pushed back against him. He couldn't take it anymore and pushed into her in one solid stroke, holding still when he heard her whine uncomfortably. He doubled his attentions to her breasts and kissed the back of her neck softly until she moved her hips, silently asking for more. 

Slowly, he pulled out most of the way and sank back in, rewarded with jade shivering and tilting her head back, pressing her breasts into his hands. Curious, he took one hand from her breasts and wrapped it in her hair, tugging and rubbing at the area below one of her ears. This, combined with a particularly hard upward thrust of his cock, resulted in a loud moan that almost made him lose it right there. he tugged her head back, just slightly, using her hair, and she bucked her hips against his. 

"Ffff-fuck, Jade." he groaned, thrusting into her harder. She let out another loud and breathy moan, one of her hands abandoning it's role of helping her balance as she shoved it between her legs to rub her clit as Dave fucked her from behind. His cock slid in and out of her pussy faster and harder as she pushed back into him, hips bucking and grinding eagerly in time with his. 

"Daaave. Oh god, Dave. Harder, please, just h-harder." she groaned, the pleased sounds she was making growing louder and louder. Dave complied happily, puding his hard cock into her with as much force as he could, grunting as he gripped her hair and kneaded her breasts. 

"Shit, Harley, you're so fucking tight and so fucking hot. I've been getting off thinking about you since I was fucking 13 and this is is so much fucking hotter than I ever thought." his voice was gruff as he kept fucking her, pinching her nipples and leaning down to bite her shoulder, just barely. 

"Oh, fuuuck, Dave. Your cock is so much better than my fingers. I can't believe I got off thinking about your the other night when we could have been doing this."

"When I heard you playing with yourself the other night, it got me so hard I had to jerk off right then. I came listening to you finger fuck yourself through my door." he grunted, slamming into her even harder. She whimpered and gasped. 

"Fuck why is that hot. God you feel good." her breathing was even heavier and more uneven than moments before, as Dave pulled her hair back a little harder, her breasts bouncing as her hips slammed back against his "Oh fuck, oh god, oh Daaaaaaave." she moaned, getting progressively louder and high pitched as she came, her pussy clenching his cock. The sound of her moaning his name was too much, and he pushed into her, slamming his hard cock into her a few more times before he came, grunting and pumping cum into her still convulsing pussy, muscles milking every last drop of cum out of him till it was dripping down her thighs. He collapsed on top of her, panting. 

"Holy shit." he mumbled a few minutes later. She laughed. 

"Haha yeah. Woah." 

"That was... unexpected." 

"A little bit." 

"Are uh, are we cool?" he helped her to her feet and ruffled his hair nervously. She grinned. 

"Yeah, we're cool." 

"Cool." he said with a nod, not bothering to hide his grin before shoving his shades into his hair, kissing her, and carrying her into his bedroom.


End file.
